so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize