So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize