so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
