Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
