I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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