C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
