cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
