I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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