and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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