Do you still have your period?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize