so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
