dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i need some magic done to my vagina
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize