He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
