roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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