Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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