With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Even my vagina gasped.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize