3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
