Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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