hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
