Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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