Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my shit smells like andre
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
