haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
