The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
