That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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