Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
