Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
