Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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