that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
