I CAN MOONWALK!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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