I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
