i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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