you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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