Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i will never coherently bang her
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The Olympian is in my bed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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