Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
