redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize