This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
