So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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