i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
