Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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