YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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