Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
