He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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