theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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