At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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