To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
