10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize