I'm gonna have a badass scar
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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