winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
