I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
