i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
