just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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