I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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