HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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