Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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