He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
