I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
