i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
