wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
