I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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