it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
