About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
