who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Two words: blizzard sex
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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