Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize