Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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