i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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