You don't have asthma, your pregnant
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
