omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
