Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize