its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
