wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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